It has been almost a year of motherhood now, and it has been quite a journey – a fantastic journey filled with love, joy, and tears. I like to call it a journey of self- discovery, for this year has been an eye-opener for me.
While this year has made me grow as a person, it has not been easy for me. Right from the moment my baby was born, every little insecurity, every little shortcoming that I have ever felt about myself started creeping into my head and made me feel the worst way possible. It made me question, so many times, if I am worthy of being a mother to this beautiful child that lay in my arms. I doubted myself for every little thing I did and did not do. But now, after almost a year with this little human, when I see his face light up with joy on seeing me, when he randomly plants a kiss on my cheek, when he races to reach me when his father mock attacks him, when he reaches to me for comfort when he falls down, I realise that I may not be as bad a mother as I think I am. Though there is definitely room for improvement, I am learning to accept that I cannot be perfect, and I am what my son needs me to be.
I just want to say, for those of you who become this epitome of motherhood with your heart always filled with joy right from the moment your baby is born, great for you. I am very happy for you. But for those who don’t feel that way, for those who doubt yourself, for those who feel overwhelmed at everything going on and for those who don’t feel like yourself, just know that you are not alone. Though it might seem hard, please keep in mind that you are the best mother that your child can have. Reach out to your loved ones for support, and if you feel it is not enough, do not be afraid to ask for professional help.
A big shout-out to my loving husband for being my rock of support, my mom for helping me with everything and, my little munchkin for being so forgiving of his imperfect mother.